University will probably be the death of me.

Seriously.

Choosing what you plan on majoring in is more irritating than it is stressful. I have been going back and forth for the last couple of months trying to figure out what I want to do and what I can do. For a while I didn’t want to have anything to do with chemistry because I just hate the labs. It isn’t that I don’t have experience; it’s that the teaching assistants are pricks.

I don’t want to deal with any of it at all. But I also know that I’m partially scared of going into biochemistry and barely passing any of my courses or failing one and being held back. I’m sure if I put the effort I used to in school I would be fine but a part of me just can’t get over that I’ll be in school for another 5 years. And guess what? I realized a few days ago I’d probably take 6. Yeah.

You see, I actually applied for a coop program that’s not in the life sciences. So the university didn’t let me take the basic bio courses because they have to give priority to students in life sciences. Saying I panicked when I found this out was an understatement. I went to the Professor and anyone she directed me to, to explain to them I was going to definitely have my second major a life science program. I didn’t want to even talk to anyone about it but I sucked it up since you know, it’s my future we’re talking about; there are times when my anxiety needs to sit back.

I was assured and reassured repeatedly that I could take the two basic courses in the summer no problem. I was breathing easily until some two weeks ago. I learned that the university decided not to offer it in the summer which means I have to take it next year and I can’t take many courses that require the most basic courses as prerequisites. Surprisingly, a brief moment of panic later I was okay. I’m not okay with taking another whole year of school thought. That’s going to make it a total of 7 years of school. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

I plan on getting into pharmacy school downtown but I have to apply to it after two years of some intense organic chemistry, biochemistry, and they don’t take you in the middle of the school year so even if I took more than the average student, 6 courses, I’d probably still have to wait till the end of the year to get into the program. That’s really stressful.

The only kinda positive thing about all this is being held back by a year means I could do pharmacy (if I get accepted into the program. I have to take an exam to get in to so there’s the possibility of all my effort going to was after 3 years of intense courses) with my cousin. I would have someone to help me out. After all, two heads are better than one. If one of us is sick we can cover for the other when it comes to lectures and such. But that’s also if she actually follows through with her plan of pharmacy. She might go into a completely different program, who knows.

I mentioned to one of my friends, friends (I guess he’s my friend too…how would I know?), because he’s smart that he should consider pharmacy too. Maybe if I keep mentioning it he’ll actually follow through too. I just want to know a few people I can rely on in case I get sick or really need help.

Anyway, so that’s what’s been up with me. Oh yeah, I also have to start studying for a calculus exam I have in less than two days. Yeah.